1
00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:04,638
Max, I feel like
this woman on Tinder

2
00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:06,640
is lying about her age.

3
00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:09,610
If she's 78, I'm 25.

4
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:15,416
I'd say she's 80,
but that rack is 40.

5
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:20,154
Well, maybe I can
squeeze her in tonight,

6
00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:22,390
but I already got eight dates.

7
00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:26,260
With my arthritis
it's impossible to swipe left.

8
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:30,598
(Peter Bjorn and John)
* Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

9
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:32,233
[cash register bell dings]

10
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:37,505
* Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

11
00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:41,509
Girls, you're going to
have to close up tonight.

12
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,645
I'm pretty sure
I have a date with Earl.

13
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:53,154
Han, your only friend
that isn't imaginary is here.

14
00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:56,224
He's dropping my VIP passes
to Game Con.

15
00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:58,426
Ned's demo-ing
the brand new video game

16
00:00:58,459 --> 00:01:00,328
he created, and I'll be there

17
00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:03,364
hanging out
in the cosplayer's lair.

18
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:06,500
Is that where you
don't get laired?

19
00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:12,373
Thank God I didn't tell you
it was sponsored by Virgin.

20
00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:15,509
I don't get video games.

21
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:18,612
In my day, if you wanted
to enter another reality

22
00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:22,783
you just took acid
and went to the aquarium.

23
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:25,519
Game Con has awesome swag bags.

24
00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:27,521
This year
they're handing out iPads,

25
00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:30,358
and last year I got
the Microsoft Surface.

26
00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:34,428
You are a microsoft surface.

27
00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:39,200
Have fun at Lollapa-loser.

28
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:43,103
I would never go to Lame Con.

29
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,507
I've got to go to Game Con!

30
00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,576
So we can make fun of Han
some more?

31
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:52,880
Because video games really seem
to be my put-down sweet spot.

32
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:55,349
Caroline, it's about time
you knew.

33
00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:57,751
I'm really into video games.

34
00:01:57,785 --> 00:02:00,288
I've known since I was ten.

35
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:04,325
Max, are you coming out to me
as a game woman?

36
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:06,594
There was this arcade

37
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,363
at the pizza place
my mom used to leave me at.

38
00:02:09,397 --> 00:02:13,267
Ms. Pac-Man taught me
how to swallow pills.

39
00:02:13,301 --> 00:02:16,237
All right, well,
if we're confessing things,

40
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:18,272
I really want a free iPad,
so I guess

41
00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:19,707
you'll have to be nice
to that nerd,

42
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,642
even if he is a customer.

43
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,179
All right, we got this.

44
00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:26,314
Suck it up.

45
00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:29,483
I'm not sucking anything.

46
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:32,453
Hey, everybody!

47
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:38,926
Well, I guess it's true
what they say.

48
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:41,329
You can't hire my manicurist

49
00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:44,465
to put an addition
on your apartment, yeah.

50
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:46,700
Oh, you're renovating.

51
00:02:46,734 --> 00:02:49,770
That explains the banging
and power drills I hear.

52
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:52,773
Most of that was us.

53
00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:54,342
We got some new sex toys.

54
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:57,678
It's like Santa's dirty workshop
up there.

55
00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:00,248
See, we're splitting
the boudoir in half

56
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,716
so the baby can have
its own bedroom.

57
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:04,685
Its own bedroom?

58
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:07,488
So the baby that you're
not even pregnant with yet

59
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,723
is doing better
than old Caroline?

60
00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:13,527
No, Ming Wa wants me to
give up my walk-in closet.

61
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:17,965
I mean, that's where my purses
and half my hair live.

62
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:19,967
So purses and hair

63
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,603
are doing better than
old Caroline too?

64
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:26,874
Uh, earwax is doing better
than old Caroline.

65
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,676
[bell dings]

66
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,244
Come on, Caroline.

67
00:03:30,278 --> 00:03:33,414
Let's shake these asses
and get them passes.

68
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,283
Do you think
I should shave my back

69
00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:37,685
for tomorrow for Game Con?

70
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:40,388
My mom does.

71
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:41,989
Here are your fries.

72
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,557
Ned, have you been
working out?

73
00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:45,326
[gasping]

74
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,495
You know my name?

75
00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:48,996
Max, take your hand away.

76
00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:51,665
You'll kill him.

77
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:55,403
Is there any way you can
get me into Game Con tomorrow?

78
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:58,005
Oh!
This is rich.

79
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:00,341
The hot girls need something
from the nerds

80
00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:04,512
like in science class
or any marriage in LA.

81
00:04:06,314 --> 00:04:08,816
I don't have any more tickets...

82
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:11,952
or now a will to live.

83
00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:15,789
So...this is awkward.

84
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:19,293
Well, puberty's
a challenging time, Han.

85
00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:25,733
I did it!

86
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,468
I got us in.

87
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:30,304
Max, again,
I feel like the homeless shelter

88
00:04:30,338 --> 00:04:32,873
would be a step down for us.

89
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:34,675
To Game Con.

90
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:38,078
I got us jobs as booth babes!

91
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:41,815
I'd rather go to the shelter.

92
00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:44,352
What are booth babes?

93
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,554
We just have to wear
these dresses,

94
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,722
look hot,
and hand out some flyers.

95
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:52,860
Like a sexy Jehovah's Witness.

96
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,696
Wearing that?
Where's the top?

97
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,565
- That is the top.
- Okay, where's the bottom?

98
00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:58,932
- You're looking at it.
- Where's the middle?

99
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,434
- That's it.
- And the rest?

100
00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:03,637
Oh, right.

101
00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:06,774
Slutty boots!

102
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:07,941
Are we really gonna show

103
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,978
our vaginas for a gift bag?

104
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,816
Yes, what else are they for?

105
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,019
You heard Han.

106
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:22,523
We could get a TV, XBoxes,
your precious iPad.

107
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,725
At the very least,
bottled water.

108
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,660
[knock at door]

109
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:30,598
It's just so degrading to
parade around in short skirts

110
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,065
and be fake nice to nerds and--

111
00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:35,969
oh, my God,
that's what we do at the diner.

112
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,872
Hey, girls.

113
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:43,844
We had to fire our contractor.

114
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,946
Yeah, it's just taking too long.

115
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:49,082
It's like having sex
with a guy on Prozac.

116
00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:54,788
Been there.

117
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:58,692
And I'm still waiting.

118
00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:00,461
So we hired my cousin.

119
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:03,597
She and I have become close
since we stopped dating.

120
00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:07,568
I mean, we were going to
stay at a hotel,

121
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:11,138
but why do that
when we can stay with friends?

122
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:15,008
Friends?
What friends?

123
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:18,145
Not you, Caroline.
Max.

124
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,118
I can't believe
what I'm wearing.

125
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:30,458
This dress sets women back
further than HBO's "Ballers."

126
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:34,962
Well, I think it's nice to be
paid to put on clothes for once.

127
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,697
"Ant Thrax"?

128
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:37,965
Oops.

129
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,099
You'll have to get it.

130
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,434
I can't bend over any further

131
00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:43,737
or everyone will
see my PlayStation.

132
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:46,574
[techno music playing]

133
00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:50,944
Did a very slow earthquake
just hit this booth?

134
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:51,979
*

135
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,914
Hi.
Is this, like, a real dance,

136
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,049
or should I go get help?

137
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:57,951
*

138
00:06:57,985 --> 00:06:59,453
They're not having seizures.

139
00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:02,523
I think we're supposed to
dance like that.

140
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:10,498
*

141
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,969
Max?
Caroline?

142
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:18,171
Even though you just
saw us doing that,

143
00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:21,642
we are still
so much cooler than you.

144
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:25,012
Yes,
but the gap's getting smaller.

145
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,647
How did you two get in here?

146
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,816
A continuing series
of bad decisions.

147
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:30,984
You wouldn't help us,

148
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:33,153
so we decided to be booth babes.

149
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:34,955
The most recent in
the continuing series

150
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:37,591
of those bad decisions.

151
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:40,961
(Han) Max, Caroline, I'd like
you to meet my gamer crew.

152
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:44,097
Basically, my Han-tourage.

153
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:50,571
You were right, this thing was
sponsored by Virgin.

154
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,273
If you guys are here,

155
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,076
who's watching
your grandmother's basements?

156
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:59,713
And this is my plus-on, Eunice.

157
00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:02,716
AKA Super Nintend-Ho.

158
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:05,986
We never met till today.

159
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:07,588
Isn't he the cutest?

160
00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:09,289
He saved me from
a burning village,

161
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,091
and then he asked me
to marry him.

162
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:14,061
[chuckles]
Actually, my avatar asked

163
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:16,730
her avatar to get married...

164
00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:19,132
in the game.

165
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,101
Congratulations.

166
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:23,203
That's not sad.

167
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,573
I'm gonna go
get my Pixel Pie a drink.

168
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:27,107
It's the least I can do
for the man

169
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:29,610
who pulled me
from a roaring inferno.

170
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,011
[chuckles]

171
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,980
Hurry back!

172
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:36,784
I should have let her burn!

173
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,586
Are you kidding?

174
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:39,953
She's your type:

175
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:42,022
willing.

176
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:44,224
But I can't be tied down.

177
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:45,726
Between this VIP pass

178
00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:48,028
and my suite
at the Holiday Inn Express,

179
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:52,032
I could be
the Don Juan of Game Con.

180
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:54,735
She's coming!

181
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:57,638
Oh, where's Han Solo going?

182
00:08:57,671 --> 00:09:00,774
Uh...the PokГ©mon booth
started a flash mob

183
00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:03,744
and they needed a Pikachu.

184
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:06,179
Death Bitch!

185
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,352
I knew you seemed familiar.

186
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:15,155
You look like that new
character, Death Bitch.

187
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:16,790
Your booth is right over there.

188
00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:18,959
It's the most popular
video game here...

189
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:22,095
after "Girlfriend Simulator."

190
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,137
Oh, my God, Max.

191
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,039
[gasps]
Look.

192
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:36,143
Han's gamer friend nerd is
carrying you away.

193
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:38,979
And I do not like
where he has his hand.

194
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,313
Ned, stop!

195
00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:41,314
(Max)
Yeah.

196
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:45,118
At least buy me drink first.

197
00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:48,255
I'm just gonna put this down.

198
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,391
Ned, this is your game?

199
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:55,262
You turned Max into
some kind of Boobarella.

200
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:57,765
I'm sorry, you weren't
supposed to see this yet.

201
00:09:57,798 --> 00:10:00,801
I was going to invite you
to the official release party.

202
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,736
If this guy's having
a release party,

203
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:05,338
it's probably
into an old sock.

204
00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:12,112
By the way, I'm taking this.

205
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:15,282
I need someone to cover my shift
at the diner tomorrow.

206
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,050
I don't think you'll need to
work at the diner

207
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:21,088
after you're compensated for
Ned stealing your likeness.

208
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:24,024
My mom said it was fine.

209
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:26,026
I can get money for this?

210
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:27,661
Because I'm pretty sure

211
00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:31,364
"Grand Theft Auto" is based on
how I got to New York.

212
00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:32,432
How you doing?

213
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,302
Tony Shapiro,
Rock N' Roll Games.

214
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:38,305
Recently divorced.

215
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:42,142
Tony, I don't think
you bargained for

216
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,745
a Wharton-educated
booth babe...

217
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,013
and neither did I.

218
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:48,415
But your designer stole
my friend's likeness

219
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:49,950
without her consent,

220
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,885
so we're entitled to
a percentage of the profits.

221
00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:54,722
This illustration is not so
similar that it would hold up

222
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,123
in a court of law.

223
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:59,693
Oh, my God, Death Bitch.

224
00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:00,994
That's not her.

225
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:02,395
[scoffs]
The hell it's not.

226
00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:03,463
Look at her, dude.

227
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,665
One, two.

228
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:11,038
Look, it's clear you guys don't
have the money for a lawyer.

229
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:13,040
That's true.
Keep talking.

230
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:14,307
But I get you want a payday,

231
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,443
so I will pay your friend
to play Amorta

232
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:19,880
and take pictures with the fans
at our photo booth tomorrow.

233
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,048
You're in luck.

234
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:24,885
The model we hired died
of an overdose.

235
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,888
At least she died
doing what I love.

236
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:30,157
Tony, we may look like
we've settled in life,

237
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,725
but we aren't gonna settle here.

238
00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:34,027
We stand to make millions
if we take you to court.

239
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:36,764
- No, you don't.
- That's true, keep talking.

240
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,331
What do you want?

241
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:42,269
Throw in a free iPad and I'll
deliver her on-time and clean.

242
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:45,172
You'll get me here on time.

243
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:52,746
[device whirring]

244
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:04,124
Um...what's happening here?

245
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:07,895
Is this the foreplay
or the cleanup?

246
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:10,130
Sophie's using a PedEgg
on my feet.

247
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:14,034
[giggles]
And it tickles.

248
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,269
Yeah, you know,
if you go just one day

249
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:18,138
without shaving calluses,

250
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:20,974
you've already lost the war.

251
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:22,342
[device resumes whirring]

252
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,912
Yeah, well,
I'm sorry for the mess.

253
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:29,316
Uh, I had to bring down
some basic necessities.

254
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:34,454
Yeah, like...like plates
and cups and toilet paper.

255
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:45,198
Wait, is that a TV and an XBox
in my apartment?

256
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:46,900
I don't know what to do.

257
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,902
I've been waiting for this day
my whole life,

258
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:51,872
and now that it's hear I'm shy.

259
00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:54,107
Yeah, this is how
we watch TV.

260
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:57,978
We get Hulu, Netflix, YouTube...

261
00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,813
YouSpank...

262
00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:02,449
SpankBank...

263
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:05,485
PornOnTheCob.

264
00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:08,521
Can I pop in this sweet
demo game I got today?

265
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:11,291
It's a hyper-sexualized,
violent version of me

266
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,593
who kills everyone
who gets in my way.

267
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,029
It's a biopic, really.

268
00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:18,932
Stick it in
and I'll watch you play.

269
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,567
[laughs]

270
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,336
Gosh, if I had a nickel
every time Oleg said that--

271
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:27,207
You'd be able to
afford a hotel room?

272
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,109
Okay, well,
I'm gonna go in the other room,

273
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,844
anywhere but here...

274
00:13:30,878 --> 00:13:34,147
which now smells like
patchouli and pierogis.

275
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:40,020
Oh, we have a sex swing now.

276
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:42,222
(male video game narrator)
Welcome to Asrieth, Amorta.

277
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,391
You must kill
anything that moves.

278
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:45,893
Go.

279
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:49,296
[Amorta grunting]

280
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:52,465
This chick is my spirit animal.

281
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,968
All she's doing is
drinking from a flask

282
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:57,170
and punching people
in the face.

283
00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:59,940
Max, she's just like you.

284
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:01,408
[Amorta continues grunting]

285
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,010
(Amorta)
Yak Girl, come!

286
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:05,012
[grunts]
I need you!

287
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:08,148
[yak moaning]

288
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:12,920
What's that silly animal thing?

289
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,087
Yak Girl.
[scoffs]

290
00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:16,289
I think she's my sidekick.

291
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:18,225
Hey.
[chuckles]

292
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:22,129
That thing looks
just like Caroline.

293
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:23,263
It does!

294
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:26,099
It looks like Caroline!

295
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,935
Why did I hear my name?
[Yak groans]

296
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:31,905
Why am I seeing a horse thing
that has my face?

297
00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:34,207
Please, Caroline, it's not
a horse thing with your face.

298
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:36,609
It's a yak thing with your face.

299
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:39,612
[yak groaning]

300
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:41,548
That's the sound you make

301
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:45,953
when you have to do
side work at the diner.

302
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,221
(Amorta)
[grunts] Yak Girl, come!

303
00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:51,024
Hey, look.

304
00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:54,127
Max, you're riding her.

305
00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:56,063
Oh!

306
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:57,330
Oh, no, no way.

307
00:14:57,364 --> 00:15:00,067
I'm calling that Tony jerk
right now.

308
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,268
[Yak groans]
So what?

309
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:03,070
She just lets
Death Bitch ride her?

310
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,604
That's all Yak Girl does?

311
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:07,975
No, she poops
when you hit this button.

312
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:09,609
[farting]

313
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:12,412
[laughs]

314
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:15,548
Ah, Caroline can't stop pooping!

315
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:20,187
Just like that one time
at the diner.

316
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:23,223
Tony, this is Caroline Channing,

317
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,158
AKA Yak Girl.

318
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:27,294
I am taking you to court.

319
00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:30,730
That's true.
Keep talking.

320
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:31,864
That's your big offer?

321
00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:35,435
That I dress like that
and take pictures with nerds?

322
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:38,038
Well, let me just
say to you, sir,

323
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,040
I will need an iPad, as well.

324
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:42,075
[farting]

325
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:45,678
[laughing]

326
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:49,182
Somebody better go out
and get that toilet paper.

327
00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:58,291
How long till Death Bitch?

328
00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:00,560
I have to go take my medication.

329
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:03,696
What are you taking?
You got any extra?

330
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,333
Right this way.

331
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:08,735
This is so exciting.

332
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:13,106
[cheering]

333
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,574
This will be fun.

334
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:18,078
I haven't been paid to be a
bitch since I worked at the DMV.

335
00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:19,646
Ooh, a green screen.

336
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,581
Look, I'm on another planet.

337
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:24,217
Finally got that vacation.

338
00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:27,520
Hey, Yak Girl, come on out.
Time is money!

339
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,228
You okay in there?

340
00:16:35,262 --> 00:16:39,466
This is what it must be like for
Kim Kardashian to enter a room.

341
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:42,202
All right,
it's pretty simple.

342
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:43,403
One picture.

343
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:44,504
And don't worry
if you get a boner.

344
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,673
We'll crop it out.

345
00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:50,377
Could I be any more humiliated?

346
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,245
I just want a photo with her.

347
00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:54,114
Not you.

348
00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:55,548
I guess you could.

349
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:59,152
Fine, I'm probably
due for a poop, anyway.

350
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:00,287
[sighs]

351
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,089
Aah!

352
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:04,091
I'm okay!

353
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:07,060
Can you chop my head off?

354
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:10,197
It'll be the best head
you'll ever get.

355
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:17,370
All right, get out of here.
I killed you.

356
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:18,571
Hold on.

357
00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:20,540
Death Bitch,
say your catchphrase.

358
00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:22,542
Remember: even in death,

359
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:25,145
you're my bitch.

360
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:27,380
- [sighs]

361
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:28,748
- I'm really liking
this identity.

362
00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:31,651
It's better than
the other 17 I've had.

363
00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,654
- Nobody wants to
take a photo with me.

364
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:37,757
I mean, baby got yak,
right, Max?

365
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,792
Will you just let me enjoy this?

366
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,694
This is a dream come true
for me.

367
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,263
I'm at a game convention.

368
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:44,731
I'm the star of a video game.

369
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:46,733
I can kill without consequences.

370
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,768
I'm pretty much peaking
right now.

371
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:50,603
Yeah, well, I have hooves.

372
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:53,506
Can I just be upset
for one minute?

373
00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:57,310
Max, hide me.

374
00:17:57,344 --> 00:18:00,647
Looks like you're doing a pretty
good job of that yourself.

375
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,582
Aah!

376
00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:04,217
Seriously, help.

377
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:05,852
Get back here, Han Solo!

378
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:08,621
You promised
we'd build our lives together.

379
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:12,459
We shared that Hot Pocket
"Lady in the Tramp" style.

380
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:13,660
Uh, miss?

381
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:15,428
There's gotta be
better people out there.

382
00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:18,365
Have you tried
literally anyone else?

383
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:22,702
I convinced my sister to
sign me out for this weekend,

384
00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:26,373
so you are not gonna
stop me from seeing my Han.

385
00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:30,210
Back off, Amorta!

386
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,212
Uh, Han, you're on your own.

387
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:33,746
I can't ruin this costume.

388
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:37,217
I'm gonna need it the next time
I have to get out of jury duty.

389
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:38,351
Oh, no, I'm a goner.

390
00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:39,752
She's gonna eat me alive.

391
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:42,755
You should have seen her
go to town on that Hot Pocket.

392
00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:43,790
Out of the way, Han.
I'll show you all

393
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:46,559
I can do more than just poop.

394
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:50,330
Oh.

395
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,299
[groans]

396
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:56,703
Uh, Yak Girl?

397
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:59,839
Your heinie quarters
are showing.

398
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:02,775
Got it.

399
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:06,679
This is gonna the girl
I'm catfishing real jealous.

400
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:18,891
Hey, Earl.

401
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,661
Hey, Caroline.
Hey, Max.

402
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:23,796
Hey, Max.

403
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:28,601
Hi, Max.
Hey.

404
00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:29,902
Look at that.

405
00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:33,240
I have the exact same antlers.

406
00:19:34,441 --> 00:19:35,675
That's not me.

407
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:38,478
You can tell by
how fast she's moving.

408
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:41,248
Know what's not moving fast?

409
00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:42,649
Our construction.

410
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:45,652
Yeah, we had to fire
Oleg's cousin.

411
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:49,356
Turns out the sexual tension
was still there.

412
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:52,259
Hey body...not so much.

413
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,994
Yeah, so it's gonna take
at least another week.

414
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,263
A week?

415
00:19:56,296 --> 00:20:00,800
There goes the "no sex while Max
and Caroline are awake" rule.

416
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:06,306
That wasn't sex
you were having in front of us?

417
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,242
Max, Caroline,

418
00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:10,977
I don't know how
I'll ever repay you

419
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:12,945
for getting Eunice
off my back.

420
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,113
I do.

421
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:18,585
Sophie and Oleg are staying
at your place for a week.

422
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:25,992
I was thinking an extra baked
potato with your shift meal.

423
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:27,527
Yeah, Han, um...

424
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,997
how much bouncing
can your bed take?

425
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:35,302
You're killing me, Max.

426
00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:37,304
Yep, even in death,

427
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:39,439
you're my bitch.

428
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:44,243
[cash register dings]